Goodbye Enemy, Hello Friend!


Last week, I did something brave. First of all, if you really want to know what is the difference between bravery and courage, allow me to enlighten you. Perhaps to most people, they can be used interchangeably, however, if you want to be accurate, you may want to jot this down. Bravery is used to associate with the things you do without any fear, usually in the context of impulses because you couldn’t careless about whatever comes with the action. You are so brave that you do not undergo any kind of discomfort. On the other hand, courage is used for things that you do with absolute awareness of the pain and struggle yet you do them anyway. To sum it all up, bravery takes away your fear, courage takes away your reluctance. I hope this helps. Now, back to my story. I have always wanted to do this yet couldn’t find the delusional “perfect” time. One fine evening, after enduring tons of stress being poured into my veins, I have decided to pluck up my spirits and just do it like Nike said.

For almost three years now that one of the acquaintances of mine just couldn’t click with me. I wanted to believe that we got on the wrong foot because you see, for a long time, I have felt a strong vibe coming from him that says he didn’t like me at all, for no apparent reasons (or reasons which couldn’t escape my denial state). Speaking of experience, I dare to say that I seldom repel people of my opposite sex. So I have been meaning to sort things out with him. One of my items in the bucket list is to mend things with an “enemy”, perhaps enemy is a strong word but I couldn’t find a word that resembles our hostile friend here.

It’s funny because I have barely spoken to this man for all the time I knew him (which he would beg to differ because the reason he thought the mutual feeling of our hostility is because I didn’t know him to begin with). There was obviously some misunderstanding between us. The fear of approaching someone you don’t like and dislikes you back is tremendous. You can only do so by putting your feelings aside and just abruptly approach someone out of the blue and put cards on the table. Yes, it is risky. The person may not entertain you and find you even more pathetic.

In the beginning, I sensed a combination of pride and awkwardness. I didn’t quite know how. It was just weird and crazy, what would he think? what would he say? how would it all end up to be? Is it a good idea? Is it worth it? These questions did not pop up to my head until looking at it in hindsight. I must be very brave. How did I do it? It wasn’t Dutch Courage. An idiom to describe the courage which is supplied by consuming alcohol. No, I was perfectly sober, but I was so exhausted, what would I know?

Once that idea of mending a friendship was again surfaced to my mind, I acted within 3 seconds. There’s a rule about 3 seconds, if you think of something and you don’t put action within 3 seconds, that thought is going to vanish and you will not get it done. I’m talking about any action, like writing it down because you know how easily a good idea will slip your mind, or standing up and saying hello to that cute guy at the bar, etc.. Think and make it happen. Of course the underlying message here is, if you really care. I did. I cared about restoring what might be beautiful so I texted him but there was no reply. I thought it was a sign so I just decided to hit the sack. Then, I heard his voice outside my dorm. Again, that bravery possessed me and I asked him out.

It was such a relief to be able to talk things out like a bro to bro. No drama, no doubts. We just said everything that was hidden and cleared the air. It wasn’t weird at all. The conversation just blossomed, we sorted things, one after another. We talked chronologically – from the past to the present and from the present to the future. In the end, everything, every feeling was out in the open and there was no sign of hostility, hatred nor resentment. It was as if we were both trapped in this crazy big toxic balloon which was tied to a big rock and that thread was finally cut. We were released from the dungeon of despair that was poisoned by frictions. At last, I understood why he did this and that and he comprehended why I felt this and that. Indeed it was a fresh and exciting experience for it was till then, we could say that we had bury the hatchet. It took us this long to toast for a true friendship. But thank God, we didn’t wait till it’s too late when one of us might have died without ever knowing that the other person did or felt this way because of this and that.


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