Before graduating, I was obliged to take APTIS Advanced Test. This morning, my course mates and I took a bus and went to the nearest teacher training college and sat for the said test. This is actually my third time sitting for such test.

My first experience with such test was IELTS, it was about two years ago, hence, the results are not going to be expired soon. The second English test I had in November last year, MUET, Malaysian University English Test, it was supposed to be some sort of entry test I thought but apparently, it was the rule of my university that every student, except those who are under Chinese Studies, obtains a band 3 or above. Unlike IELTS which has 9 bands altogether, MUET has only 6 bands. Of course, like IELTS, the higher the better. For IELTS, I got band 8. I wonder how I got it because I remember being really sloppy that day. I even forgot my identity card which was weird because I am usually very meticulous.

Perhaps that was why I got cocky. Such indifference can lead to a high score. I thought to myself, I got nothing to worry about MUET. Turned out, I got only band 4. I admit I screwed up the listening and speaking tests. For the listening test, I had trouble focusing, huge ass symptom for an arrogant soul. And for speaking, worse, I wasn’t even trying.I was thinking the whole time that both the moderator and the examiner must be having a rough day because they were looking pretty upset. I was interested in that instead of the task at hand. My self-confidence rendered me getting band 4, of course, I am not satisfied with it but I deserved it, more than I deserve my band 8 in IELTS.

As for today, I think I did pretty well in all the skills except for speaking skills. I got too nervous, though I did not stutter, I kinda repeated myself a lot.  But trust me, after the previous experiences, I did learn my lessons. I should not take anything for granted. Just because I got lucky the first time, doesn’t mean luck will always be by my side. However, I tried not to be too serious about it until anxiety takes the best of me. I found the key to succeeding in these tests especially the speaking tests which test spontaneity and all kinds of thinking-on-feet skills, EQ. I believe fear is the number 1 present emotion during such circumstance. In fact, fear is everywhere. I have so much to work with fear, whether to embrace its presence and shine or to shun it, shove it in the closet, pretend it isn’t there. I don’t know. Like I said, I’m still working on it.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s