Why Are We Rude?

Which is worse? Be rude to strangers but kind to family or to be rude to family but kind to strangers? I think both are terrible. But at times, we can’t help it. Sometimes, being rude is simply automatic. Some situations call for it: somebody said something stupid, somebody drove to your lane without flashing the signal light, someone threw trash in your trash bin, etc. We cuss when we are mad or some of us who are more civilized would say things in sarcastic tone full of dramatic pauses or use harsh words to criticize, to express, and to denigrate.

The rudest person you have ever met might turned out to be the sweetest person your friend knows. Rude people aren’t 24/7 rude, at least i don’t think they are capable of being rude all the time because you see, being rude requires a lot of energy, negative energy and a person can’t be rude forever or he or she would be consumed by that dark energy sooner or later.

Once I have heard a man preaching about happiness. His message was to urge people to take the high road – to forgive those who are unloving and most of the times, it means people who are rude to us. To me, I  see it as a cycle, when we hold grudges against people, we are toxicated, we are filled with anger, and therefore we need an outlet and the quickest way to channel that anger out is to be rude to those around us. They say serenity now, insanity later. When our bottle is full, the cap falls off and the smoke comes out, harming our environment, the toxic liquid even toxicate the table, melt the bottle itself. Sorry, I got carried away by my own analogy but you get my point.

Back to the story of the man, he was at the supermarket one day and the cashier was being so rude to him. He could not let it pass, he felt hurt by the words she said. This man is an optimistic guy. He almost always sees a silver lining. But he let this cashier get to him because lately he just lost his wife, it was a terrible time for him. He couldn’t understand why the cashier had to be rude to him and so he was determined to do some investigation. Long story short, short story shorter, he found out that the cashier was having a very bad day because she was scolded by her boss in the morning for doing absolutely nothing wrong. The boss was in a bad mood himself because his son recently turned into a rebellious teenager and decided to do drugs. If that man would have let it go on, he would have discovered a string of stories that explain each and every rude behavior but he connected the dots alright and while the cashier did say something harsh to him, it was him who was in a grieving time, distracted by the memory of his wife in the supermarket, paid the cashier one dollar less and caused the scene.

I like to think that everyone is rude for a reason. While there is no way to justify rudeness, there is always a high road to be taken, to let go of the little disgust face, the mean tongue and the darkened heart.

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