Understanding People Pleaser

Once again, I was inspired by Sara Bareilles’ King of Anything. The last time I was inspired, I got my hair cut. This time, I decided to write a blog post. The other day after I’ve parked my car, the radio played this song, I turned my car key enough to switch the engine off but leave the radio on. I was paying close attention to its lyrics and one line was particular resonant – “All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy, …” I think it’s a well-known fact that you can’t please everybody. It is also a given that pleasing people is a taxing mission. Out of curiosity, I wonder if they truly love people. So this week, let’s discuss the concept of a People Pleaser.

Generally speaking, a person who tends to please everybody is someone who is simply suffering a disease (which in my humble opinion, afflicts almost everybody) – loneliness, in a slightly higher degree than the rest of us who are good at seeking distractions. This implies that a people pleaser is someone who gives a damn to everybody and how everybody thinks about him or her. A people pleaser is nice to everyone, as well as afraid of hurting anyone as he or she craves for companionship. And it is only normal for them to feed their company with honey instead of vinegar. In other words, they are usually highly agreeable because they are desperately seeking for approvals.

Come to think of it, it’s actually not easy to be a people pleaser as aforementioned, it is almost impossible to please everybody. A people pleaser is a friend to everybody and I just can’t imagine how hard that must be. The people pleaser needs to know many areas of interests as different friends would have different tastes for different things. And it’s almost certain that he or she would face a dilemma of agreeing with totally contradicting passions, for instance, K- Pop and J-Pop, or pro-durian and anti-durian. Besides, this people pleaser also needs to make time for all of his or her friends for he or she would not want to reject anybody’s invitation. Building on the subject of rejection, people pleasers are widely known as those who would not have the guts to say NO. They are Yes Men and Yes Women. Superman – a fictional character designed to be altruistic and heroic is definitely a just man who simply saves everybody’s lives, I can only imagine that Superman being a Yes Man. No wonder his theme soundtrack is ‘It’s Not Easy to be Me’. It truly isn’t an easy job to be a people pleaser.

We may never know what is the ulterior motive behind each and every people pleaser but whatever it is, we should remember that they are just showcasing their symptom of being lonely. So the next time you meet a people pleaser, try not to judge him or her as being pretentious who lies all the time, try to ask them what they really think and what they really fancy about, try to work harder to get them talk about themselves (it needs more effort because they have been doing it for so long, it’s a wall they’ve built to keep themselves from getting rejection, hurt and hatred) and you should try because it’s so tiring to always be the one who listens and the one who always agrees against their will. small-crowd-hi


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s