Ever since I wrote the post about Litter, I’ve understood why at times, people would allow a piece of trash on the floor to stay right where they were. There are simply more urgent matters to be taken care of rather than bending down and picking up trash, and worse, when there was no trash bin in the vicinity. At the spectrum of kindness, we have one of the far ends of simply helping to pick up litter and then there’s going all out to help others without hopes of getting something in return.
Knowing my own calendar which is packed with personal growth development activities, work, family, social gatherings, house chores and whatnot, I can’t help but admit I feel more than a little overwhelmed. On the other hand, I always like to remind myself of what Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory said, we have to take in nourishment, expel waste and breathe in enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying. Everything else is purely optional. Preach. But I still find myself unable to apply it. I mean, every time when I have to make a small choice of whether to do it or not to do it, it seems like someone else has already made that choice for me with the words like obligated or compulsory or voices in my head saying you’re so selfish if you’re not doing this.
I hate the version of me when I’m busy. It’s quite dangerous to be around people when I’m truly busy and I have to remind myself not to talk, unless I can talk succinctly, because my mind is focused on the thing I’m desperately trying to finish and talking would just take away my focus and renders me pissed, or worse, couldn’t take away my focus which results in me talking stupid things.
After adjusting myself in my new work environment, I’ve observed some of my colleagues who are busy as well yet able to keep themselves composed almost all the time and still get the job done. I admire them so much and wish I could too, someday, find my peace. It reminds me of the song “don’t worry, be happy” by Bobby McFerrin that goes like this, “in life, we have some trouble, but when you worry, you make it double.”
Being busy makes me less aware of other people’s struggles and battles. I simply stopped caring, stop being concerned, and put priority for that matter to be done. It’s a vicious cycle. The thing is, we’re probably not busy at the same time. That’s why it makes organizing a simple gathering, a party or a vacation with everybody okay with the time is extremely tough. You’re lucky if you don’t agree with me.
I don’t know if we should learn to be less busy or kinder. What I think is that when someone isn’t free to help you, don’t take it personally, he or she is probably more upset about it than you are. Get help from another more available people or sources. Perhaps you’ll feel better if you consider the enemy as time, not your friend or someone whom you put your trust into. You might be his or her priority at a certain time, but something or someone else can be more important than you. Learn to live with it and try to understand because kindness takes time, and time, my dear, is bloody precious.